So, this guy walks into a bar - no seriously, he did and he was way cute! If you're waiting for a punchline, it's not gonna happen, I just wanted a clever way to hook you all into reading this. Pretty good, huh? Initially I wasn't going to do this because I feel like every time I write about something extra awesome that is happening in my life, I somehow end up jinxing it, and I REALLY don't want to jinx this. I also feel, however that everything happens for a certain reason therefore there must be a reason I'm writing this. Luck be damned! So back to that guy in the bar...
I had met Him while doing my second round of online dating. Online dating, man! Can we talk about that for a second? It's intense - not intense in the oh-my-god-I-hope-I-find-THE-one kinda way. More like, oh-my-god-I-hope-no-weirdo-freak-psycho-killers-are-creeping-on-my-profile kinda way. I could go on and on about the "lovely" men I've had the pleasure of meeting online, but I'll digress. Maybe in a different blog.
So He emails me. Good start. All His spelling and grammar are correct. It was a cute short little email. Good. Checked out the profile picture of Him...with a GIRL? No explanation of said girl in picture, clearly no attempt was made to cut her out of the picture. I'd like to assume sister, but I go with ex-girlfriend. Check stats. No kids. Good. Older. Good. Doesn't smoke, college degree, job. Good, good, good. Hmm, things are lookin' like a go. I email back, and so starts a friendly little week long conversation which ends with an invitation to get together. Duh, I said "yes".
So this is the part where He walks into the bar. I'll set the tone for you. I was so nervous to meet Him, I was using yoga breathing techniques on the drive over, hoping to quell my urge to puke. It was POURING out. I did have cute hair at one point, but I'm pretty sure by the time I ran from the parking lot to the bar, I looked like a wet rat. Eh, maybe he won't notice, I am showing a little cleav after all.
He hasn't arrived yet. I fear our date might already be going downhill when I discover the bar is full. Like, U-Haul full of linebackers, kind of full. He texts me "just walking in". Suddenly, there is a subconscious mantra going through my head: "PLEASEBECUTE, PLEASEBECUTE, PLEASEBECUTE". He walks in, CUTE!!! Yes! Score one for the night! Oh! And He's tall! Score two!! Alright, things are looking up! We do the awkward handshake and then stare at each other for a second while we are trying to answer the hostess's question whether we'd like to put our names down for a table or not. I'm thinking "No! I didn't sign up for dinner! Too much pressure, what if you're super weird. What if you like Star Trek marathons and still do keg stands?? Just drinks". Apparently He has different ideas, our names are down. We try to shimmy our way through the bar to wait. Oh! What's that?! Two ladies leaving happy hour a little late, open spots! Score three for the night.
So we're seated. Side by side we stare at the drink menu. I'm wondering what to order that is strong enough to chill me out, but not strong enough to make me look like an alcoholic. Jameson it is. He orders wine. Hmmm, wine? I decide I'm ok with that. Drinks are ordered, time to start the small talk. Wait, this isn't small talk. What is happening? Is He actually having a normal conversation with me? Oh, that girl in your picture was just a friend? What, you like to cook? You've traveled around the world? Ahh! I don't know what to do! I had memorized the weekend forecast just in case we needed a topic! I'm jumping up and down inside! Yes!! He's smart! He looks at me when He talks. Something is happening here...
Another Jameson, now He has me laughing. Man, He's got a great smile. I wonder if he's going to kiss me tonight? Another glass of wine (for him). Bathroom break. I check my watch. Holy hell! It's 11pm. We've been talking and drinking for 5 hours! There is definitely something happening here. Back at the bar, we are people watching. Possibly one of my favorite pastimes. Turns out, he does too! We make up stories for the feisty old trollop across the bar, hitting on the Jersey Shore cast member wanna be. And one for the two gentleman across from us wearing wolf shirts probably purchased at a goodwill. Yes. I am liking this tall cute boy.
Now it's nearly midnight, on a Tuesday. We both have to work in the morning. So, we tab out. He pays - this is new! He walks me to my car. Hug. Mmmm, good hug. The kind that makes you smile while you're still embracing. Ahh! He's so tall, I love it! Done with the hug. Kiss? Nope, but I'm ok with it. I'm liking this guy. I get into my jeep and start towards home. Yep, there is definitely, most certainly something happening.
