EXPECTO PATRONUM

I’m not sure if other people experience this or not, but when I go through a breakup I seem to notice all the “bad” things about myself. My insecurities come streaming out of me like a Dementor sucking out my happiness (I love a good Harry Potter reference). I look at myself in a very unflattering light. I assume that the real reason the relationship didn’t work was probably because of something I did or said or how I acted. I’m too jealous, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not skinny enough… the list goes on and on in my head.

Earlier today I was expressing some of these same sentiments to my cousin. At one point I said “… he probably banged a bunch of chicks that night.” To which my cousin replied “Jacqueline, listen to yourself!” So insecure. That’s when the Dementor picture popped into my head and of course any real Harry Potter fan knows the only way to get rid of Dementors is to cast your Patronus. The Patronus Charm is a charm that “evokes a partially-tangible positive energy force”.  Casting out positive energy drives away the happiness sucking Dementors! Since my Dementors seem to come in the form of negative self-talk, I decided to cast my Patronus (which I think may be in the shape of giraffe or a Direwolf, did I mention I’m now a huge Game of Thrones geek too?!) by listing some of my good qualities. Of course you are all free to add any I missed in the comments section.

So here goes: EXPECTO PATRONUM!

I’m funny – in a sarcastic, dark, somewhat twisted way.

I laugh at my own jokes… a lot.

I make one awesome Pineapple Upside Down Cake.

I’m a good friend and try to always be there when someone needs me.

I am a good mom to my pets. They get lots of love and hugs and kisses.

I have a high pain tolerance.

I am a hardworking employee – at least up until about 4 o’clock.

I have pretty blue eyes and dimples.

I have awesome boobs and a rockin’ butt.

Despite what some may have heard, I’m a pretty darn good girlfriend.

I’m supportive of other people’s dreams and goals.

I’m a good sister and daughter.

I am an excellent reader (have I mentioned the Game of Thrones Series… read the first 3 books in less than 2 months. That’s 3087 pages! That’s about 51 pages a day… and I wasn’t even reading every day! Obsessed!)

I’m extremely loyal and passionate.

I’m a good writer.

I honestly look for the best in people.

I’m an effective communicator.

I can rock jeans and hoodie like no one else.

I’m super good at Boggle (the REAL one, Brooke)

I pride myself on my napping ability.

I have a flat stomach.

I am knowledgeable about many different things.

I can sing really well when I’m intoxicated (I seem to think I can do a lot of things well when I’m intoxicated)

I’m good at yoga.

I have cute feet.

I’m an excellent organizer.

I’m an all-around pretty nice person.

I’m good at parallel parking.

I can grow flowers without killing all of them.

I can find one clean item of clothing in a huge stack of dirty laundry piled on my floor.

I’m a tremendous spooner/cuddler.

I don’t give away the good parts of movies or books (though I’m seriously DYING to talk about the 3^rd 

Game of Throne book with someone!!)

I’m a very loyal Packer football fan, unlike the bandwagon Minnesota fans…

I’m really good at trash talking the Vikings.

I’m not high maintenance when it comes to things like appearance.

I like to save abandoned animals – I almost saved a frog the other day, but I didn’t think he’d get along with my dog and guinea pigs.

I’m good at trivia.

I’m the perfect mix of nerdiness and coolness.

I can appreciate all types of music.

I’m SUPER good at making lists.

I think this is good enough to cast a decent Patronus. It should keep my Dementors away for at least a night or two.

Nox.