Inspiring Me Now

  • "The Purpose of Life is to Be Happy" Dalai Lama

October 18, 2010


...weeks I have lived thus far in my life. Strange number to look at. As I enter my 1456th week, aka my 28th birthday, I'm thinking about how completely different my life is vs. how I wanted it to be. Twenty-eight. For sure I would have been (successfully) married by now, have at least one baby. I'd be living the picket-fence, Tide commercial life in a little suburb. My insanely attractive husband and I would have taken several exotic vacations. Our child(ren) would be learning another language, our dog would parole the backyard for squirrels. I'd have dinner on the table when hottie husband got home from his successful career job (doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc...) We'd eat together, do the dishes together, sit down and watch David Letterman together.

While I tried the marriage thing, it seemed my would-be successful husband was more interested in online dating and  furthering his career than in me. Strike one. It's hard (ok, well not "hard", just not on my radar) to have a baby without a husband. Strike two. And, while I do live in the suburbs, there are no picket fences, and the closest I've gotten to a Tide commercial is when I spill on a white shirt and can't get it out with cold water. Strikes three and four...

This brings me to the point of this rambling entry. How do you plan life? Maybe it's just my personality. I'm a huge control freak. I like things done my way, and I have no patience. I make a plan. I know in my head how I want it to play out, and if it doesn't pan out the way I want, I'm utterly disappointed. But life is bigger than a trip to the grocery store after work, it's bigger than a 2 carat diamond engagement ring (which is not how big mine was just an FYI). Life is chaotic, messy, exciting, and stressful. You can't plan those things. You don't want to plan those things. Given the choice, we'd never pencil in a "day of chaos" or "stress. 9am-10:30am". We would skip right over those normal life occurrences.

I know this will sound cliche, but chaos and stress and broken hearts and dirty laundry, these are the things that make warm fall days and afternoon naps, dinner with friends and phone calls to loved ones so much sweeter!

So, in honor of my 1456-1508 weeks of life on this earth, I'm going to try to let go of my "should have been" life and embrace my "what is" life. Cheers to 28!

P.S. presents or gifts in monetary form are always greatly appreciated ;)

1 comment:

  1. I love this post Jax! And happy early birthday! BTW, you are a really good writer. =)