So today is the ex’s birthday. Even on the off chance I could forget, I wrote it in HUGE red sharpie marker on my work calendar by my desk months ago. That red ink is glaring at me like “see, always write in pencil”. Instead of being able to put my head down and crank out some work, I’m daydreaming about cheesecake factory dinner and birthday presents wrapped with GI JOE paper.
So it begins. The first of many little landmine dates that trigger a bummer day. The first would be today – B-day. The second would be next month, our 10 months anniversary (I know I sound like I’m in high school – but it was fun to think about “Can you believe 10 months ago was our first date?!”) Then comes the big one, the date most single girls abhor, Valentine’s Day. I haven’t had a date for Valentine’s Day in 5 years. I’ve become one of those jaded girls who make snide remarks while avoiding the red and pink retail madness, when really, I’m just jealous that other people have someone special in their lives to share the day with. Last year I had just broken up with someone (do I have a pattern?!) so I spent Valentine’s Day night at home with my dog watching the most un-valentine thing I could think of, The Walking Dead. Even zombie slaying can be lonely on Valentine’s Day.
So this had me thinking, If I could choose my perfect Valentine’s Day, it would go something like this: I’d start the day waking to a cute text message from my special someone. We’ll call him Ryan (as in Gosling and/or Reynolds – this is a dream, might as well be a good one!). “Happy Valentine’s Day my beautiful girl” it would say. And I WOULD be looking beautiful that day. My hair would look like I actually put effort into it; my makeup would be smudge-less. I will have magically lost 10 lbs overnight! I will have found just the perfect pink lip gloss to match the adorable red sweater with a pink heart on it I was wearing (might as well go all out, right?). I’d get to work where an email would be waiting for me from my snuggle bunny (that’s the adorable sickening nickname I gave Ryan – aren’t we just the cutest!?) It would say how excited he was to see me that night and then tell me how glad he is that we met X many of months ago. Then before he signed it (xoxoxoxo) he’d have written the lyrics of some random song that reminded him of me. Oh, how I would swoon. Ryan knows I’m a sucker for a good song.
After work, Ryan would be waiting for me (he’s an entrepreneur – so he can come and go as he pleases). He’d have a bouquet of flowers, not the traditional dozen roses (which by the way are SO ridiculously overpriced on Valentine ’s Day, I feel bad for the men who feel obligated to buy them!) This would be a random assortment of flowers picked up somewhere unplanned like Trader Joe’s or Byerlys (more on why he was there later). He’d have a card that wasn’t overly sappy (I’m not THAT girly of a girl) with a hand written note with just the right amount of sentiment and humor (Ryan is SO funny!). He’d take me to dinner at the place we had our first date. We’d joke and laugh talking about how nervous we were the first time we met and how I almost canceled because I was so anxious. Then after dinner, while sipping the last of our cocktails (Jameson, please) we’d exchange gifts. I would have gotten him a Tag Heuer watch (did I mention I’m filthy rich in this Valentine’s Day dream?). It would be a meaningful gift but also a play on our inside joke (he’s always at least 10 minutes late). He will have gotten me small diamond stud earrings (nothing too flashy, maybe half a carat or so) saying “every girl should have some diamonds”. We’d have a sappy romantic kiss over the last of our drinks and head home.
At home we’d get into our comfy clothes and cuddle up on the couch to watch one of my favorite romantic comedies, Pretty Woman. We’d make inappropriate jokes about me becoming a high-end call girl while we ate red velvet cupcakes from Byerlys. My absolute favorite dessert! Finally, we’d fall asleep on the couch before the end of the movie only to up to the credit rolling. Then we would head to bed where we’d sleep happily ever after.
I think I sort of have a crush on Valentine’s Day Ryan! I might just have to start writing about our other dream dates! Stay tuned...